Let me tell you a few things . . .
Here you can learn a little bit more about what we do:
If you have something on your mind, but your shrink is busy, you can always Contact Us.
The History section will tell you about where we come from and how some of those zany traditions got started.
Of course, if you're COMPLETELY clueless (I'm looking at you, freshmen), you can read What We Do.
Yeah, we got an album about to drop . . . every four years. Buy our current album and look at past albums on the, you guessed it, Albums page.
Are you a member of the press, but are too lazy to do real research? Check out the quick facts on our For the Press page.
On the Staph page you can get to know the people who like to think they control the Band. In reality, we bow to only one authority: Gozer.
If you're interested in a particular instrument, you just HAVE to check out the Sexion Pages. Bonus points if you can actually find a sexion that is not too lazy to make one.